Kind of a rant

I hate having the feeling of being alone. Especially when there are so many other women out there that are going through the same thing I am with their husbands. It's tough, and I'll tell you it does indeed take a strong woman to do it. My husband is difficult to please when he's in the same house as me, when he's in a different country it's near impossible in my opinion. I love him to the end of the universe and back. I really can't even explain my feelings for him. I'm lucky to have him, and I'd like to think that he's lucky to have me as well. I don't believe I'm that needy. I don't need or push for expensive things, I don't do the make up thing, or get my nails done on a regular basis... I'm just me. All I ask for is love and respect. Don't get me wrong, I love to be "showered" in gifts and flowers. But I know it's not practical for me to ask for such things. Anyways on to my point I suppose...

I always feel like when I start to make friends with someone I am pushing the situation along. Like maybe I'm pressuring them to be my friend?... I don't know if I'm the only who has felt this or not. Maybe it has something to do with how I truly don't have any friends & I would really just like to have someone to talk with once in a while, hang out, bring the kids to the park or beach type of thing. I hate feeling like I am doing this deployment by myself. I know better than to make friends with Army Wives or be apart of FRG. Most are the same, all about drama, & with Josh being gone (not that I like drama when he's here...) it just makes it all the harder when stupid "women" try to bring drama into my life. It's not what I want. I just want a friend. Honestly I don't think that that's too much to ask for. Maybe I'm sadly mistaken though.

My point is I just hate being alone. & Not for a second would I think to turn to the arms of another man (or woman for that matter) I just like to have someone there that can relate to me. I really wish someone lived here with me, because it being just Dominik and I is really lonely. This house is just too big. :( I guess that's all. I'm going to go to sleep and wait to see if my husband calls me. His internet (I think it's the internet... unless it's the power again) went out early this afternoon, like 2:30ish, and hasn't come back on since! It totally sucks!